All I want...is something sharp
I promise I won't harm myself
I just want to look at it...
Just run my finger along the edge
Along the sleek metal, and hope to bleed
I promise I won't cut...
Well, maybe just a tiny cut
Not tiny...medium
Not medium...deep
Deeper than the the sea
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry for your tears
Do you forgive me?
Forgive me for making you cry...
I'll cry too if you want...
I'll shed a tear for every scar
A tear for every kiss
For every harsh word you've said to me
All the times you've broken my heart
Everytime you've made me cry...
All I want...
What do I want?
Do I want happiness?
Love?
Friends?
The past is the past
Meant to be burried away in time
So why can I not stop thinking of you?
Plauging my mind twenty-four, seven
Visions of our time together
Raging war in my head, taking over my dreams
I still feel your touch, your kiss, your fingers
Driving me insane with your smell, a smell oh so sweet
Hold me again, tell me its alright...
Tell me it was just a dream
Our fantasy is a reality
Our dreams are real and breathing
I don't want this to end,
My little fantasy world
Being in your arms for eternity
The past is the past...
Meant to be burried away in time...
So why...Can I not stop loving you?
You've left me so long ago...
Why do I still think of you?
You broke my heart many times...
Why do I still yearn for you?
You made me cry so many tears...
Why does my heart ache for you?
I shouldn't think of you...
You belong to someone else
I shouldn't want you...
You're heart is with another
I shouldn't fantasize about you...
You've plauged my dreams so much...
If this is love then I don't want it
I don't want to feel this heart ache...
I dont want to feel this pain...
I just want to feel you in my arms...
The sounds of keys being tapped on the keyboard echoed through the whole house. A soft golden light illuminated the room, casting shadows on the wall. A faded blue light glowed from the computer screen in front of her face.
Bottles of water and soda cans littered the computer desk, a plate full of sunflower shells sat in front of the speakers, with a moldy apple core in the middle of the plate. The keys continued to tap, as the figure looked down to her left.
Four bodies lay sleeping, each holding one as if trying to protect one another from the cold night air. A sadistic smirk found its way onto her face. Her dark eyes flaring with hatred
That to whom we sell our souls to
That to whom you praise to
THAT! As to who we believe will save us all
Pathetic beliefs...
Don't you understand?
This is no HIM
There was no birth!
HE DOES NOT EXIST!
Where was He when your daughters were raped?
Your sons shot down?
Your mothers abused?
Your fathers turned to alcohol?
Where was He when they beat you
Tortured your soul
Broke your spirit
And raped your mind?
People base their religion
On someone they can't see...
Someon they can't touch...
Someone they can't hear...
Someone who just doesn't care
Our mother star that shines so bright,
Get on your knees and beg tonight
Beg for the sick twisted ways you want repent
Ask her to give you her pain, see the things she hath seen
Let the murderous side out of her; let it run free
Kill those who have hurt you, hurt those who have killed thee
Let the feeling of her blood run through your fingers
Feel the soft dead flesh as you pull it apart
Show her the neglect you felt, the deaths you witnessed
And after your done, cuddle her in your arms; sing her lullabies of old
Rest her head on your bosom and then...
Snap her neck to assure she's asleep...
Why are you doing this to me?
What have I ever done to you?
Do you really hate me that much?
Do you really wish I was dead?That I was really gone?
Where is the brother I used to know?
Oh wait...he never existed...
Your constant torture of physical and emotional abuse...
What did I do to deserve this?
I always stood up for you
Not ever letting her get away with it
But I guess it wasn't enough
I'm sorry I ruined your two weeks of bliss
Always knew you were their favorites...
I'm sorry I ruined your happiness...
They don't care, they never cared how many times you hit me
As long as it didnt interfere with their tv time...
Curse
Stop your stupid whinning!
I told you it was over...
Stop your stupid dreaming!
There's no trying anymore...
Stop trying to make me feel guilty!
It won't work anymore...
Go cry to your friends...
I don't care
Go cry to your family
I don't care
Tell the world I don't love you!
And then...
When they ask why,
I'll say:
I told you it was over,
I had no feelings for you
You even said it was ok
So don't start crying now
It's your own damn fault!
NOT MINE!!
So don't blame me for your poor broken heart!
Blame yourself!
That to whom we sell our souls to
That to whom you praise to
THAT! As to who we believe will save us all
Pathetic beliefs...
Don't you understand?
This is no HIM
There was no birth!
HE DOES NOT EXIST!
Where was He when your daughters were raped?
Your sons shot down?
Your mothers abused?
Your fathers turned to alcohol?
Where was He when they beat you
Tortured your soul
Broke your spirit
And raped your mind?
People base their religion
On someone they can't see...
Someon they can't touch...
Someone they can't hear...
Someone who just doesn't care
The sounds of keys being tapped on the keyboard echoed through the whole house. A soft golden light illuminated the room, casting shadows on the wall. A faded blue light glowed from the computer screen in front of her face.
Bottles of water and soda cans littered the computer desk, a plate full of sunflower shells sat in front of the speakers, with a moldy apple core in the middle of the plate. The keys continued to tap, as the figure looked down to her left.
Four bodies lay sleeping, each holding one as if trying to protect one another from the cold night air. A sadistic smirk found its way onto her face. Her dark eyes flaring with hatred
You've left me so long ago...
Why do I still think of you?
You broke my heart many times...
Why do I still yearn for you?
You made me cry so many tears...
Why does my heart ache for you?
I shouldn't think of you...
You belong to someone else
I shouldn't want you...
You're heart is with another
I shouldn't fantasize about you...
You've plauged my dreams so much...
If this is love then I don't want it
I don't want to feel this heart ache...
I dont want to feel this pain...
I just want to feel you in my arms...
All I want...is something sharp
I promise I won't harm myself
I just want to look at it...
Just run my finger along the edge
Along the sleek metal, and hope to bleed
I promise I won't cut...
Well, maybe just a tiny cut
Not tiny...medium
Not medium...deep
Deeper than the the sea
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry for your tears
Do you forgive me?
Forgive me for making you cry...
I'll cry too if you want...
I'll shed a tear for every scar
A tear for every kiss
For every harsh word you've said to me
All the times you've broken my heart
Everytime you've made me cry...
All I want...
What do I want?
Do I want happiness?
Love?
Friends?
Current Residence: Hawthorne Favourite genre of music: Everything except Gospel... Favourite photographer: Dorothea Lange MP3 player of choice: ScanDisk Favourite cartoon character: Homer Simpson Personal Quote: As to who I am...I don't know. I've changed for so many people that I lost sight of what I am...
Favourite Visual Artist
All
Favourite Movies
Formula 51 & The Little Mermaid
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Otep, Tool, A Perfect Circle, The Black Dahlia Murder, Atreyu, Avenged Sevenfold, Cursive
It's been over a year since the last time I checked this...crap. My writing sucks. Heh, maybe I'll start writing again. Who knows...we'll see how life leads on.